Celebrity reaction to this latest bank failure has been swift and decisive:

Miami’s Republic Federal year’s 131st bank failure

Billy Mays had a heart attack, Britney Spears re-entered rehab, Tiger Woods ran over a mailbox while just barely missing the neighbor’s cat, Dave Letterman played grabass with the studio interns, Paula Abdul and Amy Winehouse stayed home in pajamas and got loaded, Kirstie Alley — also in pajamas — pigged on two quarts of Cherry Garcia, Cher and Demi Moore each boffed a boymeat dude, Tom Cruise was tormented by… by… I dunno… something, Mel Gibson blamed “those schemin’ jews,” and Joan Rivers underwent cosmetic surgery.

Harrison Ford, however, declined to comment on this or any other subject.

- LanceBoyle

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• Christmas break story (Humor)
• CONTINUED

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