JPM Crashing After It Convenes Emergency Call To Advise Of “Significant Mark-To-Market” Losses In Bruno Iksil/CIO Group

Out of nowehere, JPM announced 40 minutes ago that it would hold an unscheduled 5pm call to coincide with the release of its 10-Q. Rumors were swirling as to why. The reason is as follows:

JPMORGAN SAYS CIO UNIT HAS SIGNIFICANT MARK-TO-MARKET LOSSES – “Fortress balance sheet” at least until Bruno Iskil gets done with it.

JPMORGAN SAYS LOSSES ARE IN SYNTHETIC CREDIT PORTFOLIO – but, but, net is NEVER, EVER Gross.
JPM WOULD NEED [...]

Parents arrested after driving from liquor store ‘with four children strapped to the hood of their car’

Man arrested for driving while intoxicated
All four children were reported unharmed
The mother of three of the children ‘livid and in shock’

A father-of-three and mother-of-one were arrested in Fort Wayne, Indiana, after driving from a liquor store with their children on top of the car.

Fort Wayne Police received an emergency call at 5:30 local time reporting that a male and a female had tied four small children to the hood with [...]

Six army battalions called up under emergency orders to meet growing threat on Egypt, Syria borders

The IDF has issued emergency call up orders to six reserve battalions in light of new dangers on the Egyptian and Syrian borders. And the Knesset has given the IDF permission to summon a further 16 reserve battalions if necessary, Israeli media reported on Wednesday.

An IDF spokesperson said intelligence assessments called for the deployment of more soldiers

(Excerpt) Read more at timesofisrael.com …

ISRAEL CALLS UP RESERVES

The IDF has issued emergency call up orders to six reserve battalions in light of new dangers on the Egyptian and Syrian borders. And the Knesset has given the IDF permission to summon a further 16 reserve battalions if necessary, Israeli media reported on Wednesday.

An IDF spokesperson said intelligence assessments called for the deployment of more soldiers.

According to 2008?s Reserve Duty Law, combat soldiers can be called for active reserve [...]